How do you unlearn a fear-based pattern of being judged by others? In my experience, the fear of being judged by others can be devastating and debilitating, so why not choose another way? Most people are going to experience judgment.
Every talented innovator or creator who took a took a risk, has been judged, so don’t let this hold you back from going after what you want.
Judgment truly holds no power when we learn strategies and practices to build awareness, confidence, and strength.
When you forge your own path and begin to question the belief systems of society, you will almost always be judged by others. And often, that judgment can be harsh or cruel. This doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path, but perhaps the right path for you, a path that leads to happiness, love, and prosperity. And judgment external or internal can get in the way of this and distort our thinking.
In all actuality, the more unconventional you are, the more you can anticipate the “nobody understands me” feeling and all the fear and self-judgment that goes along with it.
But for our own happiness, it’s crucial to get this fear under control and awareness is often the first step.
So let’s begin:
6 Empowering Ways to Release a Fear of Judgement:
1. Refrain from judging yourself.
I’ve found that the fear of being judged harshly can be demoralizing and even debilitating whether its from external or internal sources. So why do this to our selves? Why not give yourself the transformative gift of freedom and self-respect, everyone deserves it, especially you. We can begin to build ourselves up by remembering the good in our life and recalling moments of truth and positivity. Be proud to be who you are, stand in your authenticity and embrace every perceived flaw, that’s all it is anyway, a perception, not a truth.
Listen to your inner wisdom and judge yourself the way you want others to judge you. Practice this by saying, “I am motivated, smart, and worthy of love and respect. Every day, I work hard and each day I do great things.” Shifting our internal dialogue from one of self-sabotage and judgment to one of love and support takes time. But with practice, it’s a very effective way to retrain ingrained patterns of judgment within ourselves that can influence the world around us.
2. Assume the best and move on.
Many times the reason we don’t like someone we encounter because such interactions can cause us to question ourselves and our reality, thus triggering self-judgment or even shame. When pertinent and necessary, getting to know this person or situation on a deeper level can help to demystify the enigma that is judgment. Everyone has their own experiences and beliefs that come together to create thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Add to your own happiness by remembering Abraham Lincoln’s famous quote, “I do not like that man. I must get to know him better.”
Eventually, though, we all have to decide to let go of fear, make amends and move on with what we’ve learned. It’s the epitome of power when you stand-up for and understand yourself. This can halt judgment in its tracks and begin a beautiful process of self-love and healing.
3. Cure the disease to please.
When we are left to our own thoughts, there can be an inclination to judge ourselves according to the rules of others. Even if it is a hidden desire, most of us want to be free to be our authentic selves and free from judgment and doubt. And let’s face it living a life fearing the approval of other’s is a recipe for increased stress and unhappiness.
So, if you find yourself spending precious time struggling to please others first, shift the script and make a promise to yourself to stand up for your beliefs and personal truth. It helps to accept that while you are not for everyone, (and that’s normal), you are still more than enough. When we stop seeking the approval of others, we realize that we never needed it, to begin with
4. Find your tribe. Surround yourself with a support system of people who share the same interests and who motivate and inspire you. When you realize that you are positive, resourceful and successful, and need more of the same in your life, it can be liberating. A supportive tribe can also help immensely with judgment concerns. Adding friends to your tribe who believe and want the best for you and will support you even when you are being judged is a beautiful gift. One of the best things you can do to heal from toxic judgment is to seek support from those who love you and surround yourself with those who build you up rather than tear down.
5. End the justification trap of justifying to others your choices so you can justify them to yourself.
This is where internal peace and confidence comes in. From an external perspective, the justification can seem like we are trying to explain to others where we are coming from, but in actuality, we are trying to justify it to ourselves. Once we’ve found peace with our authentic self, everything changes.
And like many things, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it, and if there is confidence and conviction in what you say and do, it can transform people’s reaction to you.
Really, at the end of the day, any external judgment doesn’t matter, all that matters is the passion and desire you have in your heart and that you are willing to stand up for it. When you embrace this new way of being and living, all justification fades away into irrelevancy.
Accept yourself and judgment will be rendered useless, for it holds no power over you.