Many of us would consider having high ideals as a positive trait. After all, being motivated and driven can demonstrate that we have strong ethics and good character. Having standards can also enable us to possibly reach our personal best.
Comparatively, the pursuit of perfectionism necessitates an inclination to push ourselves to the limit, and any progress we make, is often thwarted by the pursuit of our own perfection and in unseen obstacles. Perfectionists are also inclined to consider anything that falls short of their ideals as distressing, damaging and possibly indicative of future failures.
Perfectionism can be seen as a set of inauthentic behaviors that we often feel will save us from rejection, abandonment, and unhappiness.
In my experience, the word perfection is a complex entrapment often put in place by unattainable expectations from the society or culture with which we inhabit.
Consequently, it’s all too easy to think of perfectionism as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that will lead to a life free from suffering or discomfort. Also, if we don’t question why the need for perfection exists, we tend to base our validity as a person on a standard that is simply unattainable and unsupportive.
We are all worthy of love and happiness through the pursuit of authentic behaviors, not perfectionism.
The need to be perfect is a self-sabotaging behavior, not a loving or sustainable habit, and I no longer feel the need to be perfect all the time. This has led me to shift and question my values and to make it a priority to feel joy in my work, parenting, and community involvement with plenty of compassion, self-love, and authenticity along the way. We are each unique individuals and in realizing this; we continually grow and change, and contribute.
It can be helpful to remember that in every situation, circumstance, or challenge, we are enough. You are enough.
After several years of introspection, I now focus on embracing my unique imperfections, like when a typo escapes my scrutiny, or when I over-schedule myself, and even in embracing the silvery gray threads of hair that have begun to weave their way into my life. So, now I am focusing and choosing to give myself the gift of compassion and self-love that we all so richly deserve. I am embodying who I am with plenty of mistakes and gray hair along the way.
We are all truly worthy of love, respect, and happiness.